I have seen a couple of blogs lately where each blog entry is a concise statement about what the person wished his/her future married relationship would be like. It got me thinking about what kinds of things I would like to tell my future husband. Here are some that come to mind:
Respect. Yes, I assume you will hold the door open for me if you reach it before I do. That is a sign of respect that you should show to anyone. If I happen to reach the door first, I will hold it for you. So opening the door as a cursory sign of respect is not going to cut it. If you really want to show respect for me, listen to my opinions and the reasons behind them, even if you disagree.
Trust. When people ask me what kind of man I want to marry, I say it is someone I can trust. That pretty much sums it all up for me -- I can trust that you will do the right things, even in hard situations (at least most of the time), I can trust you with my heart without too much fear that you will hurt it, and I can trust you with my intimate thoughts and secrets knowing that you won't judge me. I can trust that you will give me good advice when I need it, and that you will give me room to grow and become a better person continually.
Personal space. I need space to get my things done. You need space to get your things done. But just so you know, if we are in the same room it will be hard to avoid talking to you. I won't be offended if we work in separate rooms for a while.
Evenings. Though I obviously enjoy being near you and spending time with you, if you want to spend some time with your friends without me, I understand. I like my girlfriends too. But if you want to stay home and make out in front of the TV that is okay too. ;)
Mind games. I am not out to trick you, I promise, and I don't expect you to read my mind. Contrary to popular rumors, women are not completely unreasonable and impossible to communicate with. Try me.
Just hold me. Really. Sometimes all I want is the physical evidence that you care.
I don't want to be a diva or a princess. I don't expect you to give me expensive gifts all the time. I don't expect you to try to impress me with your superknowledge or your car or by keeping up with the Joneses. I don't expect you to flatter me all the time just to boost my ego. I just want you to be a good man who loves and respects me. Having the sincere love and admiration of a good man is much more of a self-esteem boost than baubles or words easily thrown in my direction.
I can handle it if you have a different opinion. We don't have to agree on politics, what kind of food we like, or our favorite sports. That's not what I chose you for.
You didn't catch me or trick me into marrying you. I am yours because I choose to give myself, not because you took me from anyone else. I retain the ability to take myself away if you don't treat me right.
I just might write more of these if the mood strikes.